From Hustle to Ease: How to Navigate the Discomfort of Freedom

I’m Melissa Shanahan, and this is The Law Firm Owner Podcast Episode #226.

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Hi, everyone, welcome to this week's episode. We are going to talk about something today that you will inevitably experience if you are trying to grow in a way that gives you freedom of time and money. Now, I don't think there is a single listener out there that isn't trying to create freedom of time and money, more freedom of time and money.

Some of you may have achieved a lot of that, congratulations. That is what we all work hard for. This is because it provides more options and more control over your own life. That freedom allows you to allocate your resources, whether it's time, money, energy, in a manner that aligns with your personal and professional values, desires, goals.

Having options can significantly enhance the quality of your life, it can provide you with even more opportunities, and it can contribute to your overall sense of fulfillment and happiness. I mean, there's a lot of generosity that gets to happen if you have freedom of time and money. So, all of this is a beautiful thing to work for.

However, what I notice is, and where people get stuck, is that they work so hard to create this freedom of time and money, and this increased freedom of time and money, but they heavily identify with working hard and cranking out work with being valuable and providing value.

There is an identity shift that has to happen, and that's what we're going to talk about today. If you're going to create this for yourself, and let's say you do it; you get the key people hired into place, you have systems and processes so that things are running really well. You will get to a place where you actually have more space and freedom in your world.

You don't need to do the types of tasks that you were doing prior. That is super uncomfortable for someone who has always identified and been rewarded in society for cranking hard at work. It seems like what will happen is you're going to get all of this space back, you're going to have an increased amount of time and money, you're going to be able to take a big breath of fresh air, and it's all just going to be beautiful.

But the truth is, when that transition comes it's actually very difficult for most people to adapt to the reality that they created for themselves, to adapt to this new landscape. And so, I want to talk about this because I see this happen all the time.

I work with clients to create this for themselves, and when they get it they struggle with what to do with themselves. They don't know what kinds of things to work on. They're not really comfortable only working on those kinds of things because they feel like they aren't providing value inside of the firm and to the world.

So, it's very difficult for them and they want to jump back. They will find themselves slipping back and putting their hands into pots that they shouldn't be putting their hands into anymore, because they have the systems and the people to be able to handle it. Then they start meddling with things in their business.

This all comes from a lack of awareness about what is really happening. And so, I think it's very helpful to, number one, have a coach that understands how to support this transition. And number two, just have an awareness.

If you don't have a coach that understands how to support this transition, at least now, with this podcast, you will have some increased awareness that allows you to navigate this with a bit more grace, a bit more ease, a bit more flow, and allow the discomfort of this new phase that you're in and understand that nothing has gone wrong here. There are some things you need to do in order to really allow the space to take effect.

So, that's the kind of thing we're going to talk about today. This will change everything for you. If this is you, and you're on the brink of having a bunch of space because you have done all the things to give yourself freedom of time and money and you're about to hit it, you need to listen to this episode.

You need to understand what you're about to experience, because if you understand the landscape of what you're about to enter into, it makes it so much easier to navigate. Okay, let's dig into some of this in a way that I hope will be really helpful for you as a listener.

The first thing that we need to acknowledge, I referenced it before, is that if you are a listener of this podcast, if you are a lawyer and a law firm owner, there is a very good chance that you have an association of value or worth of you with constant work. Even if, intellectually you understand that that's not true, you're not worthy because of how hard you work, you're not valuable because of how hard you work. It's how you've been rewarded in society.

Now, listen, that has served you quite well. Here we are, right? This has been your winning strategy, to work and work hard, just increase the load and increase the load and increase the load, and have a hustle mentality. Even if you had phases where you tried to get more organized, or it's less hustle, it's still this constant work. The amount of work that is able to be produced, you associate some sort of value with that. It has served you well up to this point.

But here we are, and it isn't needed anymore to embark on this next level of success for yourself. Now, not only is it not needed, it will hinder the next level for you and for the firm. But it's very difficult to see that. Again, once again, I'm going to say, even though you understand intellectually that your worth is not tied to how much work you can crank out, that is the way you're used to operating.

And so, if you're used to operating that way, you can't just flip a switch and expect that, all of a sudden, you're cool with not having to operate that way. It is what is familiar to you. And quite honestly, I just had a conversation with a client last week that is going through this; we had this whole conversation around this.

What is very apparent to me is that their nervous system is so used to being on high alert and really activated. That's how they've grown into what they've grown into. That's how they've created all of the results they've created for themselves.

But when you get to a place where you actually have some space that you can take; I mean, maybe for a day or two, your nervous system is like ‘thank God, we can relax.’ But there is a familiarity that will pull you back into your old way of operating, because that's what it has always done.

It's easier said than done to actually live in the space, the freedom of time and money that you have created for yourself, without doing a bunch of stuff, without hustling in some way, shape, or form. It may not be with the same work that you used to do, it may not be working on client files, but it will be with something else. You will fill the space because that's what you know how to do.

It may feel novel at first, and so it doesn't feel so bad, because you just fill the space with different kinds of activities where you can spend more time on. For example, marketing or the financials or strategy. But without allowing to take the space... That's what we're going to talk about in a second, because there's a few things you need to do when you get to space.

But if you just jump back in and fill the space with a bunch of stuff, and work in a way that even though it might not be as stressful, or as full of deadlines imposed by the world, it's still the same flavor of your operating system. It's still the same foot forward that you've always put forward. This will create problems down the road.

So, when you create the space for yourself, it's important to let everything just simmer. The truth is, when you create this for yourself, the kinds of activities that you are going to plug into and do, now that you aren't working on client files nearly as much, if at all, is you have more space for other things. Which is what you always wanted to create.

But the truth is, the nature of that kind of work that you're moving into doesn't have a lot of deadlines. There may be some here and there, depending on what you're focused on, and maybe who you're partnering with on a project or whatever, but generally speaking, it's not the same kind of work. There's not as many deadlines in your calendar.

Also what's not as prevalent in your calendar, is appointment kind of things; calls and meetings and signings and lots of appointments that are back to back to back to back to back. That stuff goes away and that creates more space. It creates a barrier, or a layer, when you create this time for yourself, this space for yourself.

There is a barrier between you and the world that you're serving in your firm, so you aren't on the front lines anymore. That creates a lot of space in your calendar. And so, when people don't have a schedule filled for them, they don't know what to do with themselves.

What I want you to hear me say, is that is okay, and not only is it okay that you don't know what to do with that space, you need to simmer in it. You need to just allow that space to be there. It almost feels like you're twiddling your thumbs for a little bit. I mean, you'll have stuff to do, right? You have a team; you have things to do.

But generally speaking, for most of your day you can choose what to focus on. That feels overwhelming to many people, and disorienting to many people. So, when you do get that space and you start to feel like, “Well, okay, they've actually got this. My team is totally handling this. They're actually going above and beyond.”

You're really impressed by how everything is rolling, you're sitting back, and you're like, “Huh, what am I supposed to be doing right now?” It's okay to live in that question for a little bit. If you feel like you're just sitting around, sort of looking around, twiddling your thumbs, stay there. Do not make sudden moves to fill your space. Because when you do that, it actually isn't as intentional as you will need to be in this new role, in this new way of living, in this new way of working. So, don't just go and fill the space.

I mentioned one client earlier, and gave a bit of an example there. I have another one to share with you that happened also, just this week. I have many examples from the past years, but these two are fresh on my mind. So, I'm going to share them because I think it might be helpful for you.

This law firm owner has been working to hit a million dollars, and has been close a couple of different years. This year, because of all the work that has been put into place, they're going to cross over the million-dollar mark. And, they have a bunch of space. Now, keep in mind, before they worked really hard and been really close.

But we have been working together to create the systems to get the right people. He's focused on all the right things to create freedom of time and money. They are coasting in to this revenue goal, and they're going to cross over it. The question during Strategic Planning is, “I have this newfound space. I think I should fill it with marketing activities.” He's going into all these things.

I also know this person pretty well. I understand their history. They have had a busy two years, and in some ways, tumultuous. And so, when they're talking about filling all of the space with these new activities that they can focus on, I said, “No.”

Listen, all of my clients decide what they're doing for themselves. But this, I felt very strongly about. I refused to watch or to allow a client hustle and work really hard, and do what it takes to line themselves up with what they said they wanted to line themselves up with, and then get it and just keep the same energy going.

Because I understand that that energy needs to shift. You can't just keep running the same game. There is a book that talks about this that’s so beautifully called The Last Word on Power. That's what it's called. By Tracy Goss. This book is so good. If you've created extraordinary success for yourself, you need to read this book.

Because in the book, it basically talks about the winning strategy that's gotten you here is absolutely going to handicap you as you move forward. You have to be willing to adapt to a new landscape, a new way of operating, if you want to create and if you want to sustain what you've built, and if you want to create a next level. It lays it out beautifully. There are exercises in the book.

When I read it, I just thought, “Preach, this is what I'm talking about.” In this instance is when I see it the most. When people actually create success for themselves; that they have coined as success for themselves. And then, they want to keep running the same game.

It's not going to work. They're going to end up burnt out. And it's difficult to hang on to the success that you had when you're running the same game. You have to adapt to this new landscape. So, I essentially said, “No, you need to take the space.”

I mean, first of all, it's not like they don't have anything to do during the day. I mean, they actually still have some billable hours. They have important meetings to sit in on every week, be able to navigate what is coming down the pike, making sure that mentorship is happening; there are things to do. So, it's not like I'm saying, ‘just take off this next quarter.’

What I'm saying is, “You now have back about three to four hours every single day. Allow for that. Don't fill it. You can decide on any given day how you'd like to use it. But I would suggest that the way that you will adapt the fastest is to allow the space. Soak up the goodness that comes with freedom. It's going to feel uncomfortable. But do it,” I joked.

But I really mean this, do things in that space that will delight your spouse. Go take the bike rides that you said you were always going to do if you had space to do them. Go for hikes, go for walks, meet up with friends, plug into hobbies and activities. Take the space for you as the human. Enjoy yourself, you have worked really hard to create this. Do not keep running your same game. No one wins if you do that, literally, no one.

Quite frankly, it's okay to be bored. I think we could all use a little bit more of that. We all run so hard and push so hard. Being bored, it does something for you as a human. It allows everything inside of you to calm down and slow down. Just allow yourself to be bored for like, 15 minutes.

Because if you just quiet yourself… It's almost like meditating, but it's not. It's just sitting and being bored for 15 minutes. Things will surface, ideas will come, and those things can't come unless there's space for them to come. You will think of things that you've been wanting to do and you put off. Well, now you have an opportunity to do those things.

But what you're not allowed to do with that space, in the first like, 90 days; I would say, 60-90 days. What you're not allowed to do with that space, is just to fill it with more work but different kinds of work.

When I'm working with a client, the way that this looks and the way that this needs to go and the way that I facilitate this process, it goes well every time. It's not easy for the client, but it goes well every time because they have shifted at the end of it all. When they get this new space back, they are not allowed, just like I said, they're not allowed to just plug in with other work.

We hold that until their next Strategic Planning retreat. And at the next Strategic Planning retreat, that is when, of course, what we do, is we look back on the quarter we just had for the whole firm and for the individuals. Then we look forward to what they are shooting for, what's the pin in the map that we're going for.

Oftentimes, they have a deeper meaning behind what they're shooting for, after they've given themselves some space. And so, what that means, is they are glued on harder to getting to that next point on the map, that point B so to speak. Because there's more meaning. Because they've allowed space. Things have surfaced. Meaning, really, what they care about has surfaced in a way that they can attach that to what the firm does. And so, there's greater meaning behind the future vision of that.

They start going for that with new vigor and with excitement. With being, showing up, how they need to in order to really get the team all rowing in the same direction. It's really beautiful to see the richness of them and their next journey, how they are thinking about it, and how they're going to execute it.

The engagement in the ideas and the solutions, it's a whole new energy being brought to where they're going next. What the next point of growth looks like for this firm. Why that next point of growth is meaningful. And then, this is it, you guys. Then it becomes very obvious what your time and the space should be filled with. What activities are going to move the needle towards that. This is how you decide intentionally to fill the space.

When you first get back freedom of time, and you don't know exactly what to do, you plug in all these activities that feel like it's what you “should” do. You can't develop what I'm talking about right now. You can't develop this deeper meaning behind where it is you want to go if you haven't allowed all of that to surface.

Because you can't make that come forth, that’s something that rises within you. As it rises within you, this next wave of where the firm is going and why it's so meaningful, when you allow that to rise in you, and then you make some plans to actually make that a reality, it becomes so clear how you need to spend your time. How you need to structure your week. How you need to structure your days. What's important to be in your calendar and what should not be in your calendar. All of it becomes clear.

And so, I think you guys can see that when someone starts to get all this time and freedom, they aren't used to this, and they come to me and they say, “What am I supposed to do with my time?” If they are asking me that question, the answer is, “Nothing.”

Because if they don't know, if it's not clear to them what the highest and best use of their time would be, I know that they are not clear anymore. They're in this disorienting space where they can't quite see what they are lining themselves up with.

Because they've just gotten themselves to this point in their journey that they've never experienced before. It is disorienting. When you get there, you need to just simmer in it for a bit. I think this is really tough.

This is what I wanted to do in this podcast, is help you just understand the landscape that you're about to hit, so that you can navigate it in a better way. Because people don't see, they don't know that this doesn't need to be long lived, that it just needs to be a short timeframe where they are just allowing the space and they're not filling it with a bunch of crap.

Then, people are afraid that the answers won't come, that the space won't really allow anything to surface. All they know is the space just feels like hell because they want to go do work. Because that's how they provide value in the world. They want to go crank things out, because that's what they're really good at doing.

If you do just allow 60-90 days of, certainly still working, but not back to back to back to back, hustle, grind, deadline, go, try to work after dinner because you need to make it all up. That kind of lifestyle. If you just allow yourself to have a normal work day, that has a flow…

Maybe you end a little early because you're done with what you said you were going to do that day. So, then you leave, or you plug into something that you would really enjoy, you’ve said you've always wanted to do.

Really just taking the space that you do have, for 60-90 days, will reset your way of operating in a very healthy way. In a way that will support the future of the firm. Because someone is going to need to be at the helm in a way that they've never been at the helm before.

You've been at the helm, but you've been juggling and wearing so many hats. Now, it's really going to allow you to focus on strategy, implementation, delegation of the business work, in a way that you've never had space to do it before. You don't need to rush into that. Allow the space that you're given.

After about 60-90 days, it'll be very clear to you where you're headed and what you want. Facilitation is a huge advantage here. Having someone pull out of you, “Okay, okay, now let's talk about where it is you want to go, and what it is that you want to create, and why that feels so meaningful to you.” Through that conversation, it becomes very apparent how you should spend your minutes of your day, spend your time.

This whole process is such a beautiful process to witness. I feel really privileged and honored that I get to witness this with clients, and walk alongside them as they experienced this for themselves. I think it makes it a little less scary when you have someone next to you that has seen this time and time and time and time again.

“It's familiar to me. I know where this is going. Trust me, take the space.” I think that there's a comfort in that. And so, whether we work together now and you're going to be hitting this, or whether you are just a listener, hopefully I provided a bit of comfort to you and understanding so that you can navigate this really well. Maybe I'll have the chance to work with some of you in the future.

This is an important transition. It is an identity shift, and for some people, it's an identity crisis. It depends on how hard they have identified their worth with cranking hard. For some people, this is harder than for others. Either way, it's necessary. And my job is to help them through that space, and come out on the other side really feeling different about what it means to own this firm, and about the activities that are meaningful to get to where they want to go.

Coming back to this quote, as it often does on this show, a Jerry Colonna quote, about how are you complicit in creating the conditions you say you don't want? This is what happens. When people get this space, they become complicit in creating conditions they say that they don't want, because they don't know how to sit with the freedom. They don't know how to sit with the space.

And so, again, it's my job to help them be complicit in creating the conditions they say they do want, to allowing the conditions that they say they do want. Alright, everyone, have a beautiful week.

Hey, you may not know this, but there's a free guide for a process I teach called Monday Map/ Friday Wrap. If you go to velocitywork.com, it's all yours. It's about how to plan your time and honor your plans. So, that week over week, more work that moves the needle is getting done in less time. Go to velocitywork.com to get your free copy.

Thank you for listening to The Law Firm Owner Podcast. If you're ready to get clearer on your vision, data, and mindset, then head over to velocitywork.com where you can plug in to Quarterly Strategic Planning, with accountability and coaching in between. This is the work that creates Velocity.