Hard-Won Wisdom: 8 Lessons Learned from Members and Clients

I’m Melissa Shanahan, and this is The Law Firm Owner Podcast Episode #288.

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Hey, everyone, and welcome to this week's episode. Today, we are covering lessons learned. It has been a long time since I've done an episode like this. When we used to offer these 30-Day Sprints, we had a lesson learned from each participant every single day. I had so many of them to be able to share with you guys because they're so good. They are hard-won lessons.

Everything that I am getting ready to read to you and any of the lessons learned, episodes that you can go back in history to listen in on, we all agree with the lessons. Very rarely does someone say, “Well, that's not true.”

But even though we intellectually understand the lesson, it doesn't mean that we've truly learned it. And the lessons that I share on this podcast when I do these types of episodes are lessons that were truly learned. You can't unsee what you see now. You are forever going to move forward differently because of what you now have come to understand.

And that is the beauty of these lessons. It's not just words. I can read you guys these words. I mean, these words are all over books and posters and posters with the whale tails. Everybody loves the idea of these things.

But what I'm going to share with you today, and what I have shared in the previous lessons learned episodes from way back, these are lessons that have actually been learned. They have wrapped their heads around it. They understand things now differently. And it's a game changer.

So I'm going to share a few with you today that stand out. As you know, we always keep track of the lessons learned, every single retreat that we have, no matter who it is. If we're working with a group or if we're working with a private client. And so we keep track of these.

We ask them, “Okay, let's review the last quarter we reconciled. Where did they land in terms of their numbers compared to where they wanted to be? What are the lessons learned from that? Did they get their Rocks completed or not? What barriers did they experience this quarter? What were the accomplishments this quarter?”

We take stock of what they just walked through and then we have them say, “Okay, now that we've revisited all that, what are the main takeaways? What are the lessons that we can process here and carry forward?” And some of the lessons that I'm going to share with you today are what have come out of that discussion.

I would say, for a private client retreat, per person, there's usually at least two and sometimes five or six. And then in Mastery Group, or in any group settings I lead, Syndicate or Mastery Group, I usually, because I have them drop their lessons learned in the chat and they'll choose their top lesson learned, for example. So I get to see one or more that are dropped in the chat by members.

And it's always just so fun to see what they've come up with. And it's really fulfilling for them, I'm sure. But also for me as the facilitator. And my team. My team is privy to hearing some of these things. And there is a beauty about the lessons that get processed.

I have looked through a bunch of lessons learned from the last six months or so. And I have about eight here I'm going to share with you.

There's no particular theme as I read through them. The ones that I remember how meaningful it was for the person, or just when they said it, I thought, “Man, those are the right words. There's such truth to that. And it's something that they didn't fully understand before and now they fully understand.”

So if it stood out to me, I put it in for this episode. And that's how we'll tackle these. These are in no particular order.

The first one, “Communicate Rocks more clearly to my team.” Now, the reason I chose this one. All too often, when I'm working with owners, they are getting very clear about what the priorities are. And we have a process that we lead them through to help them get to that place where they're pretty confident.

“Oh, okay. I have a bunch of things vying for my attention. I have a hundred things I probably should do, want to do. But these are the things I'm going to choose because of what needs to happen sooner rather than later, so that I can build the foundation or build the next level, so that it makes it inevitable for us to reach our goals.”

And so we have a whole framework. We lead people through this. No one ever gets stuck here on Rocks. They always think, “I don't know how I'm going to choose the priorities for the quarter.” And every time it's so obvious, it rises to the surface and you can choose them.

Now where I often see a problem is when owners get really clear about this stuff, but they don't communicate it to their team or to key team members. It really all starts and stops with them. No one else has the understanding that they do. And no one else can help because they don't even know that there's something to help with. They don't see it.

And the owners, oftentimes all it takes is a 15-minute conversation. Sometimes you need more. This really depends on how you want to roll this out. But listen, all of us, sometimes we have this perfectionistic idea of what it means to … after we get done with a big planning session … the best way to roll it out to your team.

And I'm glad that people want to consider that. But they end up sabotaging progress because they don't get it out. They waited to do it perfectly. So they waited way too long. Or maybe they never got around to it because they didn't figure out the right way to present it. Or they didn't set aside the time that they wanted to set aside.

Maybe they wanted an hour or two with their team. For whatever reason, there's a whole bunch of barriers the bigger deal that you make this. So I always recommend start small. If you aren't in the habit of having team meetings that are to digest and distill down for them what came out of the planning sessions for you, then it's a heavy lift. It's not your new normal.

You can make it as easy as you want to on yourself. It doesn't have to be a heavy lift, but we usually make things more difficult than they need to be. We usually overthink things. And my advice to you here is that just by communicating with your team, and being willing to suck at it, but still doing it anyway, don't wait for perfection.

So when you get clear about the things that need to be addressed or accomplished, then scheduling a 15-minute meeting with a key team member to say, “Okay, I'm going to share with you what I have come to understand, and what I have chosen and decided we really need to work on over the next 90 days.”

Explain to them what you're seeing. And make sure that they understand the vision that you have for this project, or whatever it might be, the system or whatever it is. But for the Rock; this is a Rock, a quarterly priority. And when you explain that to them, then ask them if they have any questions about the vision about the end result that you're trying to create.

And the next thing you can do is just say, “Okay, I have ideas on how you can help me push this forward. I'd like to see if you have any ideas on how maybe you can help me push this forward. And let's talk about an action plan here so that we can get the ball moving.” That alone… I mean, seriously, you don't even need 15 minutes.

That could just be a very small conversation, and you’ve prevented stagnation with the things that you say you want to get done, because you communicated with your team.

So when this member, who they have some support around them and they have ideas, but they're used to carrying everything on their shoulders, it's really been a shift for them to think of their team as support to push his vision forward on a small scale and on a big scale. And he's doing a very good job of it.

So this lesson, for this particular member this year, was meaningful and it’s changing the game for him and for the firm. So it felt important to put that in there.

So my question to you is, if you set aside time to plan, and to make some decisions about the year in front of you, and then more importantly, and more granularly, the quarter in front of you, the next 90 days in front of you, what do you do with that? And do you communicate the priorities to the team? Do you get their buy-in? Do you sell the end result and help them understand “the why” behind the what?

With each of these lessons I'm going to be giving you, I don't share these and expect you all to take these lessons as your own, all eight of them. There's going to be one or two that stand out to you. And so maybe this one's it. Maybe you, just like this member, have realized you have got to communicate your Rocks more clearly to your team. Otherwise, they stay stuck, they don't get pushed to completion, or they take a lot longer than they should have.

Okay, the second lesson that I'm going to share with you, “Managing people takes way more time than expected.” So a system to regularly check in is important. I wanted to share this one because as you grow, as your firm grows, as your team grows, as your client base grows, you will meet the opportunity to become a better leader.

Someone who is better at checking in and staying in tune with the team and managing processes and systems and making sure that people are taking care of things and being a good steward of what you have set up. You will meet that opportunity. And that does take time. You can't get away from that. There are no shortcuts to being a great leader, a great manager.

Now, again, practicing progress, not perfection is extremely important when it comes to this as well. And having some grace with yourself. As long as you're doing the best you can and you keep learning lessons along the way, that's the key. That's the ticket.

There's no light switch where you're going to take a course and all of a sudden be an amazing leader. That's not how this works. People want it to work that way. But you have to practice. You learn and you practice. But I'll tell you what will trump a course, and someone telling you what to do, is your interest in the team.

And if you understand that it takes time and you have to be interested in the team… Because being interested in the team goes a long way for everyone involved. It goes a long way for the person in front of you that you're managing or you're leading. It goes a long way for ensuring that there's some quality being upheld in the firm. There's a trickle-down effect to you being interested in your team and being interested in being a better manager.

And I don't mean being interested in your team like you make sure that you always want to hear about their dog or about the thing they're super into. I mean, there's a time and a place to check in on that stuff. I don't mean being interested in that way.

Being interested in them as a human. Developing them and seeing them thrive and seeing them grow in all areas of their life. And if you don't spend time giving attention to supporting them doing the work that's in this firm, then you will feel the effects of that, and they won't be positive.

So a system to regularly check in is the way that this member was able to articulate what’s really important to them and making sure that they were showing up and spending the time that they needed to.

This lesson in particular makes me think of the quote by James Clear, “You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.” It's aspirational to want to be a better leader, but you will fall to the level of your systems. And so, what systems do you have in place to ensure that you are progressing as a leader, as a manager?

And so, for this particular client… that's why I really appreciate the lesson learned; that you have to have a system to regularly check in. And just not just a scheduled event, that's not what this is about, a system.

For this particular client, these are all scheduled in advance. They are 15 minutes long. There are three or four questions that they cover in a check in. This is a regular check in. They did monthly check ins. Some teams do weekly check ins and that can be even more informal. Nevertheless, there needs to be a point when y'all need to know what you're going to be covering.

And that can just be a few simple questions. Where did you see your strengths at play this week? What were the areas of opportunity that you noticed for yourself this week? What skills do you realize that need to be developed, and how can we, the company, support you in those?

It doesn't have to be a lot. If that's all you covered, that's a really good check in. So, again, this is about progress, not perfection. And also understanding that you will not rise to the level of your goals or your aspirations, you will fall to the level of your systems. So you have to have a system.

This person really got it. And when I say “got it”, we all get it. We all understand this. But they operate differently now, because we took time to reflect on this and really extracted this lesson.

Okay, the next two feel appropriate as follow-ups from the one that we just chatted about. The first one, “Understanding the team's strengths and love languages has created a better work environment.” And by ‘love languages’, we're talking about the five love languages in the workplace. There's the book, Five Love Languages, and then this one is for the workplace specifically.

So this team did that. Now, here's why this stood out to me, as a little context. This lesson came from someone who has really struggled with team. They are, by nature, such a driver. They get things done. There are zero excuses. They're intense and incredible with their work ethic and their ability to produce results.

I can't speak for every one of you listening, but I have worked for someone like that. I am a version of that. And I know it's not easy, but it is our tendencies. And part of being a good leader, a good manager, is learning how to tune into other people so that they can produce at a level that is remarkable for themselves, is doing something really great for the clients and for the firm, and they're contributing meaningfully to the team.

And to do that, it’s understanding team strengths. And in this case, this client did the love languages. It has really made a difference. So yeah, this client, their intensity isn't any different, but they're taking time to be interested and show interest, invest in the team, learning about them, and helping them learn about themselves so that everyone can really understand, “Okay, this is how this person works. This is their strength. This is how they prefer to be communicated with.”

And not in a way that makes it tough to work with people, but in a way that really honors people's strengths and their preferences where you can, right? I've seen this particular client come such a long way with their team. And a huge part of it is because of the work that they've done and that they've been committed to.

I mean, it's their commitment to it; to focusing on team strengths and learning and sharing and having meetings with a facilitator about team strengths.

You all have met Tara Gronhovd. She has been a part of this client's life that I'm talking about and has made such a difference in their world. She's amazing. If you don't know who she is, you can go back and find episodes that she's been on in the past. But she's great with team dynamics and leadership and management. She's fantastic.

And the second lesson, that was a good follow-up to what we've already discussed in my batch of eight here, is, “Accountability is better than inspiration.” This came from a client that once they started working with us, they really got this more deeply than they ever have before.

When you have a partner in something, and that partner's job is to ensure that progress is happening… And progress doesn't always mean what you think it might mean. It's really tuned into the client. What is progress for them? And when you can identify that, you get all inspired and everything seems great.

But if there's no follow through, then what's it all for? There are certain people, I think a lot of people, that will drag their feet to getting accountability because they think that they should be able to do it on their own. They shouldn't need to have accountability.

Just cut the crap already. If you want to speed up where you're going, get accountability. When you put yourself in a situation where you have a partner and this is expected, it is the partner's job... I'm thinking of myself and my company. It is our job to make sure the progress is happening. And if it is not happening, what are we doing?

So accountability, it’s not in a way that… We don't yell at people and make them feel bad about themselves. We're not going to not have a conversation about the fact that stuff isn't getting done. I'm certainly going to have a conversation to facilitate and figure out what are the barriers, and what do we need to do to overcome those barriers, because we are not going to sit here. We're not going to sit still. We're not going to be “too busy”. Nope, we're not doing it.

Accountability is better than inspiration because you will finally feel momentum towards the things that you were inspired to create in the first place.

Okay, this next one is very practical. “By scheduling regular time with everyone, I cut down on walk-ins. That keeps me and everyone else in a more productive state.” And this one is different than the one that I talked about earlier, with the system of regular check-ins.

Because the regular check-ins are more developmental and centered around the people that are in the firm and what barriers they're experiencing, etc. So it's more macro, and this is more micro.

People just popping in to ask a here and there question is a time waster. Culturally, if that is the way that you guys operate in your practice, I would highly recommend trying to put some guardrails up so that there's less of that, so that you have more space to focus without your attention being pulled.

The way that we talk to clients about doing this … and people have a couple different ways they'll do it … but they will schedule regular time for questions; anything that they need, approvals on things, questions answered because they're not sure how to move forward with something.

So then they know that they can count on, “Every day from two to three,” generally speaking from two to three, “that's my time to pop in and get my questions answered.” If it can't wait, and you guys can define what that means, what is more urgent? Then okay, they can pop in. But if it's not urgent, then they can wait till two and they can get their questions answered. Or whatever time you have set up.

But that's what this person did. They scheduled regular time with everyone, so that they felt taken care of and they knew they were going to get the questions answered, so they didn't need to go pop in. They've got a reliable space to go get their questions answered or get their barriers removed.

And here's why I love this lesson so much. Tweaks like this, I mean, this is a lesson that will be the gift that keeps on giving. All of these really are, but this one, there is a before and after. Before, when you just allowed walk-ins and pop-ins and interruptions …

Because no one has any malintent when they're doing those things. But it undermines productivity, and it undermines quality. It undermines attention span. It undermines all the things that we typically stand for. If you listen to this podcast, you stand for it; when it comes to focus and intentionality, etc.

So this, by just putting in the solution for themselves, has made a big difference in the work that's getting done in the firm. And this is creating more efficiency, which means the team that they currently have has more capacity to handle more work. Because there is more efficiency. And that's great.

Because they were considering hiring someone and it was a little early. And this is something that helped them understand, “That was too early. We just need to be more efficient.” And when they got more efficient, they could get more done. And now they really are on the cusp of hiring. But they would have done it too early. It would have been a waste of resources, when really it was, “We just need to find a better way to work.”

Okay, here is the next one in our list. “Tracking conversion rates, both per team member and overall is very helpful.” This one I loved because this client, at first, was resistant to tracking conversion rates by team member. They just knew the overall number and they would say, “Well, that's the number that matters.”

And for some reason, there was a disconnect there. They couldn't see that. Well, yeah, but they're individual contributors to that bigger number. So if you want to affect the overall number, you need to get granular on the individuals contributing to that overall number.

And I think that they were worried that this was going to single someone out maybe, and they didn't want to do that. So they were just going to work on developing everybody's abilities, when it comes to conversion, and then the number is going to go up.

But they did come around, and they started tracking by team member. And the great thing about that is the team members involved with intake, they have scripts, they have things they're supposed to say. But naturally, of course, some people have higher conversion than others. And learning about what are they doing … They both have the same script. So what is happening with those who are having higher conversion rates.

And be able to talk as a team about, “What are we doing that, we either want to keep doing and get everybody doing, that isn't necessarily in the script but we do need to make it part of our process?” And on the flip side, “What are some people doing that they didn't even realize that it was contributing to maybe less of a conversion rate, but it needs to be cut out?”

And so having that data really fostered productive conversation that actually moved the needle on that number, in the direction that they wanted to go. And so when we met for the retreat, this was one of the takeaways from the quarter; a lesson learned under their belts. They're not going to not do it this way moving forward.

Tracking conversion rates per team member, as well as overall is really helpful. So that lesson, I thought I would impart. Because some people have hesitancy and they don't want to single people out. But the truth is, it's their job. They need to be good in making progress with their job. And if they aren't making improvements, and they need to be, then what are we doing?

You're paying someone to do an okay job. You do not want to test it out to see how well they're really doing, and get data on the fact that they're doing an okay job… Which, listen, it could go the other way, too. Maybe someone's doing an amazing job, and you just don't know that. The data will tell you that, too.

But oftentimes, people are afraid to do this because they don't want to single somebody out; because their conversion rate isn't nearly as good as someone else's. Well, this is not about them. This is about getting people through the door that should be through the door into your firm. This is about the client. This is about the firm, the business. And team members are there to foster all of that. That is the job.

And of course, they want to work together well. Of course, they want a good culture. Of course, there should be good morale. But the main thing, which we need to keep the main thing, is that the clients who should be in our firm are making their way into our firm. And we are given the chance and the ability to serve them.

If this isn't happening the way that should be happening on the front end of things, don't you think we should know that? Even if it's an uncomfortable conversation? I used to have a coach that would say, “I would say that is really uncomfortable. But you can do uncomfortable.” You can have that conversation.

And this is before I learned about the concept of “high confront”. The CEO I used to work for taught me that high confront is really important. We have done podcast episodes on that before. It's the same kind of thing. When you don't want to confront something, it means that that passive nature will always rob you of your dreams. It will always rob you of your potential.

And there's really no reason for… Well, there's a reason for it. But if you're being honest with yourself, you probably don't like the reason that you don't have those conversations. It is the reason. But do you like your reason for not having those conversations? So I thought I'd bring that up here because this turned out to be such a great success for them once they overcame their fear and just did it; they started tracking it. Everybody won in the end.

All right, this next lesson learned is a good one. It is to do with team as well. “One bad apple spoils the bunch. You need to fire fast and not make excuses.” This is a tough one. This also goes along with the theme… People don't do this because they have a fear of something. Do you like your reason for not firing fast? “One bad apple spoils the bunch.”

The client that shared this lesson, at a retreat, really got the courage... Well, it's just experience. It is courage. But some of it is learning that the things you think might change are not going to change. You can give chances, absolutely. But there needs to be structure around those chances.

There needs to be expectations laid out. “Hey, this has to shift. If this doesn't shift, if we don't see progress with this within the next month, then we need to talk again about it.” And then, maybe the next month, you sit down again.

And if it's still not better, then you could say, “Listen, I let you know that this needed to change. If I don't see something change in the next 30 days,” and you work to give them the tools, and you do the things that you need to do, then you need to let them go. Period.

And yeah, you need to do it in a way where it shouldn't be a surprise that someone's getting fired. That should never be a surprise to the person getting fired. I want to make that clear. But you can't just let somebody stay in there. Everybody else is watching. Everybody else notices that they are underperforming, or that they have such a bad attitude, or that they're complaining about things, or that they're gossiping about other team members, or about the clients.

If you have a bad apple, it does spoil the punch. So that is one reason that people say you need to fire fast. And don't make excuses to keep this person on the team. Also, the example I just gave, give them a month if they don't improve. I'm speaking very broad-brush strokes there. That's not necessarily the system I think you have to have.

I think the system should be very clear. I think people should know that they are entering into the system that is used when things are not going well. But you get to decide that system.

This lesson was not an opportunity for me to tell you the system you need in place. This lesson is just to showcase that you can have a clear path to making sure that you don't allow a bad apple to spoil the bunch. You don't give them that much time. I mean, there are certain scenarios where less than 30 days makes sense; it's not a full 30 days. So don't take what I said as a recipe.

I'm just trying to paint a picture. Do not sit on this. Do not make excuses for not having the conversations that you need to have. No one wins when that happens.

Okay, we're at the eighth lesson. This is what I've got for you today. This last one, I saved for last because it felt really vulnerable for this client to share. I remember the moment, and I really felt it again when I read this lesson. I hope this message lands with the meaning that I felt when I heard it.

Some context before I share the lesson. This client had come off of reviewing a quarter that was particularly hard. There were a few things that reared their heads, a few challenges that made themselves known in that quarter. One was… A couple were to do with team. One was to do with capacity.

The owner was spread very thin in terms of their calendar. They had zero space and you could feel that from the owner. And yet, as you all know, even when times get like that, and you may have phases like that … Especially when you are growing and you don't yet have the support team in place that you really need, but you're getting there, right? This is part of getting there.

And this owner said, this is the lesson, “Navigating uncharted territory is humbling.” And the reason that they said this… They have me and Velocity Work. They have friends who have firms that are larger than theirs. So it's not like they don't have anyone to lean on for providing a bit of a map, a bit of milestones so that doesn't feel as uncharted, so to speak.

But the truth is, every single business is different. Every single business has a specific vision. Yes, many of the same things need to be put into place. Many of the same levers need to be pulled, no matter what the business is that's growing.

But when you are in it with your own unique set of circumstances and your own unique vision, it is uncharted territory. This is another reason why I can't stand it when you hear people out there say, “Buy my blueprint for firm growth,” or something similar. I'm like, “Oh, give me a break. I know that it's sales and marketing. And of course, you know they're trying to get sales.

But to me, it is uncharted territory. It doesn't matter who you are or how smart you think you are, especially with your first business that you are building. And most people listening to this, they will have one. This is the business, right? So it is the first. And when you're doing that, it is uncharted territory, it is important to surround yourself with people who have seen it before, who have done it before, who can be helpful, and who can be supportive.

But it doesn't change the fact that you are in uncharted territory and it is humbling. And so when I heard this lesson, “Navigating uncharted territory is humbling,” it felt deep, like a deep lesson. That, “Man, to get where I've gotten so far, I have hustled my way towards it. I can make anything happen because that's the way I've always operated.”

But this firm is at the place that it is too big. There's too much going on for the owners to actually be carrying, as much as they are carrying on their shoulders. And when you have to make that switch … and some people make it sooner. They don't have to experience that level of pain before they really start opening themselves up to allow other people to be helpful with things ... You have to trust. You have to start putting things into place to ensure that the load is carried in a sustainable way.

But that journey, not only just realizing and being able to make the changes in order for everyone to… or for the load to be spread among more than just you... Listen, even if you have a team. Sometimes having team members that do certain tasks doesn't mean that the load is reduced off of the owner's shoulders. This is different.

When you have task pressures in your firm, that is very necessary and very helpful. But there is more than that. Transferring responsibility for things. Responsibility, not execution of, not monitoring of. Transferring responsibility to other team members is a huge deal. And that shift is humbling in many cases, but very rewarding.

But also what is humbling, is that you have to shift. Your job is different. When you transfer responsibility to other people in the firm for things that need to be managed, then you are now a leader. And you need to be a leader in a very different way.

You manage the processes and systems and the teams. You make sure that the processes and systems are managed, and that you are leading a team in a way that is going to produce sustainability and quality and great customer service and good team morale and a sense of security in the firm.

And that journey is not a cakewalk. It never is. But it is always so rewarding on the other side. But it is humbling because for many of you that will hit that or have hit it, it was the first time in your life that you had to do it. It didn't just sound like a good idea, you had to; you couldn't take on anymore. And it was humbling.

So there were a few things that really led to this lesson. And things have shifted for this firm for the better. They're still growing. They're still learning. And in some ways, they're still in uncharted territory, but they're through the thick of it. They've done a really good job.

But this reflection felt meaningful and it felt deep. And I wanted to share it here with you, to any of you who it maybe it resonates with.

Well, of these eight lessons I've shared with you … And, again, these are not just quippy truths that I jotted down or used ChatGPT for ... These came from people and their experiences. And I hope that this inspires you to take one of these, or a couple of these that really stood out, and think about how you can maybe carry that lesson forward.

How can you start to practice that lesson and maybe create a different, better result for yourself?

All right, everybody. Thank you so much for joining me this week. I will see you here next Tuesday. BODY

Hey, you may not know this, but there's a free guide for a process I teach called Monday Map/Friday Wrap. If you go to VelocityWork.com, it's all yours. It's about how to plan your time and honor your plans. So, that week over week, more work that moves the needle is getting done in less time. Go to VelocityWork.com to get your free copy.

Thank you for listening to The Law Firm Owner Podcast. If you're ready to get clearer on your vision, data, and mindset, then head over to VelocityWork.com where you can plug in to Quarterly Strategic Planning, with accountability and coaching in between. This is the work that creates Velocity.

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